Once upon a time of peace.

So my heart is made out of slow bossanova music. Always replaying the mood of lost memories, memories and experience that I miss and wish to relive it again. Have to admit, sometimes I just miss it so much that one tears suddenly just flow down and I have to faster wipe it off feeling surprised that it actually felt so deep inside. It keeps reminding me of the peaceful times. When things are getting fun and noisy which most of the time I wish to get in to, and then when it's happening, I tend to wish that I have quieter times and need to be alone. The worst part is the aftermath of happiness. Fragments of memories keep popping on and off. Then I ponder, should I always enjoy myself to the max and then will find out that I am actually sad when I come to know that everything has an ending. Really miss feeling satisfied and contented with the things I once had. Felt so numb. Miss the warmth. Right now, I would just want to hug my memories and go to dream world. Only there, I would find comfortable peace. And then.. wake up.. sucks. Unreality over reality.

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Trip to China Furniture Exhibition.

Arrive on the 1st day @ China World Trade Centre where the exhibition is held. Really a mega-structure and excellent architectural design. Really impressive building.



One of the exhibits.


If carry like this in malaysia sure kena saman already. I wonder how he climb up and stack up there.


China also like our malaysian style kopitiam.


Alot of pet shops around my hotel area. The pets selling there are really cheap. I can get a taiwanese pomeranian there for 1000rmb when i paid 3k ringgit for the same breed in Malaysia.


@ Shen Zhen airport
Fast forward to the last day, had lotsa fun and experience. Tired already. Go back sleep.

A Big Miss

Who and why am I writing this for? No bloody reason and direction at all. Sometimes we meet the people that leaves a deep impression. Be it even if it's a day or two. Does time really matter? Only when it seems right, when it could just happen over the next step, halt! hold for a while. Start hesitating for the unwillingness to risk it, risk the future, the influence of other people. Can you put down all that you have now and walk the road ahead with no assurance at all. Are you good enough, now that is the main question, but what if the other person doesn't mind at all. But not everybody has the same mind, or should I say it's mostly rare. What if it fails, then there's no plan B to cover up at all. Sigh, the ugly reality, I wonder why time keeps going forward, and doesn't even give u enough time to change or even think over it carefully for another moment. Our experiences always come late by a step. Because of this bloody lag, we lost lots of opportunities to make up to things. Why are we not clairvoyance? Why can't we have the ability to see further or even predict the future. Why live a life full of excitement and disappointment that leave so painful mark in our memories. Brothers and sisters living on the same planet, are you as tired as me? I just hope one day everything will be okay, and we will all be happy and walk in our own line of happiness where everything is happy, like heaven, I hope heaven feels like this. I hope by then everyone will have the same contentment and satisfaction. Be true to love. I hope everything will at least go the way I want. I'm not greedy, but I'm just selfish. If everything is enough for each one, if everything is made destined to be a pair. Then selfish won't exists at all. If everything is good, why would any reason I want to be bad at all. Then it's just good karma all the way. God's anticipation game sucks. God bless us.

BE THANKFUL

FOR THE WIFE
who says it's instant noodle tonight,
because she is home with me,
and not out with someone else.

FOR THE HUSBAND
who is on the sofa being a couch potato,
because he is home with me
and not out at bars.

FOR THE TEENAGER
who is complaining about doing dishes
because it means she or he is at home,
not loitering.

FOR ALL THE NAGGING MADE BY MY BOSS
because it means I am employed

FOR THE MESS TO CLEAN AFTER A PARTY
because it means I have been surrounded by friends.

FOR THE CLOTHES THAT FIT A LITTLE TOO SNUG
because it means I have enough to eat.

FOR MY SHADOW THAT WATCHES ME WORK
because it means I am out in the sunshine.

FOR A GARDEN THAT NEEDS MOWING,
WINDOWS THAT NEED CLEANING,
AND GUTTERS THAT NEED FIXING
because it means I have a home.

FOR THE PARKING SPOT I FIND
AT THE FAR END OF THE PARKING LOT
because it means I am capable of walking
and I have been blessed with transportation.

FOR MY HUGE UTILITIES BILL
because it means I lived comfortably.

FOR THE LADY BEHIND ME IN CHURCH
WHO SINGS OFF KEY
because it means I can hear.

FOR THE FILE OF LAUNDRY AND IRONING
because it means I have clothes to wear.

FOR THE WEARINESS AND ACHING MUSCLES
AT THE END OF THE DAY
because it means I have been capable of working hard.

FOR THE ALARM THAT GOES OFF
IN THE EARLY MORNING HOURS
because it means I am alive.

FOR ALL OF THIS, BE THANKFUL

Point of Departure

People come and people go. Sooner or later, one will realize that after all of his life pursuing what he believes, his dream, only to know that we, afterall just has no control over any happenings or situation. What we can control is actually just a small area in the whole gigantic area. We can change, but how would our changes affect anything or how can we know that our changes can affect the thing that we want to affect. What can one person in this world do to make a difference. Why can't we reach the things that we want so badly? Until some even gave up believing in dreams, and just let it be. Then we accept our weaknesses and limitations.

Vanity, all is vanity. Living life without a reason, satisfaction or contempt. Humans are insatiable, so how to be satisfied? For every differences among us, we have at least a requirement, a basic need of differences in level we desire. It is how we're brought up, what kind of personality have we become over our experience. I believe there are people who have been lucky and do their homework to keep up with what they want to have. These people are satisfied. These people are made to be satisfied. It is a talent or a gift. Why can't I keep something, it is because I'm not talented enough to do so. And another factor that the person doesn't acknowledge or understand that I am what I am. Or it is not the right time nor the right situation for things to happen. Shit happens, and it is what makes every human vulnerable.

I see them, whether dreams, people, objects.. juz walk away or even sometimes dissapear. Nowhere to be seen, leaving only painful tracks of memories and regrets. In the end, how strong one person try to be, we will end up reflecting the surfacing of our weaknesses. And only by acknowledging our weakness and moving along it, people say that we're getting stronger. But the real fact is that we can't do anything about it.

If only unity can be forseen. No hands would be left cold and shaking alone. Nothing will be lost or stole. Everything will go so well, then everyone would be happy and satisfied.

"Blessed are those who sees beautiful things in humble places where other sees nothing."

Tonight I notice the beautiful full moon in the dark sky as I was driving home. I hope someone would appreciate it too. Wherever we are, whatever we are, even if we can't embrace unity in this physical world, be comforted, that there is one place in yourself that you can find that haven, in your heart, your mind, and in your memories.

Be like anyone else, put your mask back on or whatever, but sometimes, just appreciate the beautiful view that will suddenly appear or pass you by, because u have to realize that days like these, may not last forever.

I missed out alot of things, I miss someone too, I miss a hell lots of people that have been missing me also. I hope dreams can be a reality without judging its weakness. Who say I don't love, I love~

Be Humble Be Wise

"Pride slays thanksgiving, but a humble mind is the soil out of, which 'thanks' naturally grow. A proud man is seldom a grateful man, for he never thinks how he gets as much as he deserves. "

If a person is great, he is great. Don't need to boast about himself, and look down on people which he thinks is worthless to him. Real great, because he think that he can be proud, because his nose is real high up the sky, because he thinks that all given blessings can't be taken away or be surpassed. Every happiness doesn't last forever, and one day, even the strongest man would need someone's help. If a person is great yet he is humble, then really this man is a blessed person and are respected by others. The power to be humble. It is not easy to be when you are at a certain higher status. The richer a person, the harder to be humble. Once a quote "let us be humble, let us think that the truth and future may not entirely be with us."

Lately, I've met two person that I always knew who are making a progress in their life. One brags and look down on people, and another one encourages someone with his humbleness. I used the same approach in conversation, one just give you the "high nose" look, and another mentions "to be successful, being humble comes first". You know the feeling, when that someone pisses you off and just the right time, someone help you to vent it. Happened to me. I was really encourage when I see the differences between the worst lousiest person and then a humble person.

Conceited people. They are not only wearing a mask, these people naturally have spikes and thorns all over their body. Does sarcasm rings a bell, do you think that it is funny? I think for some people who can't accept it, their pride is assaulted. Sarcasm is an intention to make its victim the butt of contempt or ridicule. Come on, who are you to hurt people pride that way. Especially if their innocent.

"Talent is God given. Be humble. Fame is man-given. Be grateful. Conceit is self-given. Be careful."

Be humble! and realize that being humble is being a so much of a greater person that you are! I would feel more appreciation and surprise when I found out that u're such a talented person instead of you bragging it when I didn't ask. Everyone knows how to differentiate the difference between sharing your joy and bragging bout it. If you have something you're happy to share the good news too, by all mean, be humble about it, encourage another person. If it's possible lend them some advice and a helping hand if required. And always respect a person and don't vent your nonsense on an innocent person. Who knows, one day you might need them.

Blessed are they who see beautiful things in humble places when others see nothing.

Anthology Without Words

I was shocked when I was clicking around on the net and this music was playing. It's called "Anthology without words for solo violin and string orchestra" by Taro Iwashiro. Anthology means series of written effort compiled. As in literally writing. But this is a special arrangement by the above composer, and I think that it is perfect. I love the pace that it sets, the tranquil mood that it potray, and the hidden weeping underneath it. Kind of freakish for me, I really haven't felt this way for quite some time about a piece. It's like this piece is totally describing my feelings at this moment. Such gentleness in the melody as well as the violinist's tone even though it seems like forcing itself to describe a very mellow and sad scene. Interesting. Anyway, I'm looking for the solo violin music sheet notation, if anybody has, probably can send it to me at my email. Thanks.