Saturday, July 27, 2013

Tall Trees

Oh! Jungle of misdirection. Where are you leading me? It's so foggy! I can barely see what's ahead. Could it be a dead end, a surprise or a treasure.

Life is that mist. It's a mystery, a veil that shadows the uncertainty. Empty handedly I journeyed, accompanied by a voided heart. As promised, choices were given, rendering us human. Contemplating to live in the current, to progress, or to backtrack. Compassless, the almost similarity in every perspective, taints the vision ahead, making choices a hard call. The escalating and descending hills, made the distance, seems like an eternity to reach.

But on the contrary, the forest offers serenity and tranquility. Just gazing at the mirrored lake, gains self reflecting and soul searching.

Grow this very tree, if it ever will grow at all, grow as tall as it can be, keep growing. Someday I believe, faith and hope will take over. And the whole plan He arranged for me will make perfect sense.

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Juncture

Well.. I want to blog, I mean I love blogging. Its been a while since I left it here. Misses the time when I still used to remember, when I am still chatty and outspoken. At least to the ones that matters. Or at least, the times when I had someone heartily close. I missed the times when I just decided it to be a sad night and it happened as planned. Those times, being emo was like a routine ritual to self remind who I really am. Even though I've embraced the grace of God now, and I don't need to rely on self-induced tears to wick the emptiness away, still I miss my personality as before. In which I promised myself to be, as innocent and naive as I was before, to know that platonic relationship is indeed the most primary love itself. Its almost like it poses the importance as air, water and food. As basic as the necessity to survive. Further in the journey, the ultimatum I had to acknowledge now is indeed, impending. Love remains a phantom that is beyond reach.

All my prayers which came true seems to have a lag. It's true because I can relate to it now. My memories is fading, my ability to remember is deteriorating. I used to pray that I can just forget all my sadness. But now it's becoming more of a burden, a weakness. Like they always say, be careful what you ask for. God, I pray to you now to recover my ability. I know even though I've regained my ability and at my best, you're able to remain my humbleness. It's troublesome, my anxiety, my lacking, my inability to perform. It's like I've been caged, prevented from my true capability. I can see what I can do, but this impenetrable glass wall is keeping me from it. My dear beholders, you see, I want to keep going, you want me to keep going. It's not that I want you to leave disappointed, but I'm seriously lacking.

Only the truth can set me free. And the truth is my treasure. It is not earth bound. For where my treasure is, there will my heart be also.