Sunday, October 20, 2013

Silence

Contemplation, searching for my soul
Silence encompassing all
Alone but not in solitude
Silence giving fortitude

My ego-thoughts trying to prop up
Silence makes them stop
Soul is what I’m searching for
Silence, silence I adore

Connecting to my soul
Silence winning after all
Thoughts connect with high above
Silence fills my soul with love

Conscience conquering my mind
Silence makes it look so kind
Soul and conscience hand in hand
Silent wish to never end

Grateful heart joins in
Silence makes it all akin
Thanking God for this silent contemplation
Thanks for silence, thanks again

Saturday, October 19, 2013

Lost in Translation

The anesthetic melody of 'Gymnopedie No.1 Lent et douloureux' keeps playing on my mind. Separated by a wall of language, I somehow find my dream destination in a foreign land. A place that I've yearned to visit since childhood. I would conclude that it is truly breathless and full of awe. This place, has all the wonders of my imaginary world packed and then, realized. The experience, it all seems so surreal.

And there it is, standing right in front of me. We were of different species or would it be known better as descendants. Like a cock meets goose, we were lost in translation, no where near each other to be found. I hope there's a way to make it work.

"Faith without work, is dead" He said. Best to build the bridge and start making changes.

Saturday, October 5, 2013

My Cinema

Central Region Youth Life Camp 2013 from Zac Ivan on Vimeo.

Thanks to the gift of God that I'm able to capture and render such a wonderful moment in this 1st masterpiece video. I'll continue to do more. Thanks for the support.

Monday, August 19, 2013

Summer

Even though i'm not at the right age to say this yet, but I'm imagining myself at that place where and when it's all going to come to an end. That my life is slowly chipping off. Piece by piece, I bid farewell as it falls, till I see a light from the sky. Reveals to me a witness, a silhouette of myself at that lake, sitting by the leafy shaded bench. The sun shines brightly, the warmth convinced myself of the idea of contentment. That all was given by Life, by God, was indeed good and sufficient. Then somehow a beautiful melody, rings in my ear, saying "I shall not be in want", like a happy person, walking in the woods, humming his favourite song. For I have the Lord. He shall take care of me, he shall set my path. And with Him, that even-though I walk through the valley of darkness, His staff, His voice, they comfort me.

Tonight I received a common sad news. One of those that I'm always quite familiar with. And another feelings, that is kept repeated, again and again, like an old vinyl on repeat.

Summer, I bid you to come sooner because I'm all fed up with winter. The cold and silent nights, seems so hard to bear. Sends loneliness and shivers to my soul.

Still finding, the vast ocean so deep and endless. I'm longing for it to be found.

Sunday, August 18, 2013

Empty Palms

It has been so long since I'm able to strike a balance to come to an agreement with myself. That the story of that cornfield finally seems relevant to me now. Somehow, it just felt like this is the one, this is it. I came to believe that this is indeed what I want. What all my faith long charged and saved for.

Destiny re-appears.

But the long and weary path, reveals the open wounded. It seems like I've leaned too much towards my weakness. It seems like this side has taken over. Faith as small as the mustard seed.

Oh Lord, I only have this much faith now. So, help my unbelieving. Because, this is finally what I've been waiting for. The signs that are approving, isn't this your will?

This will definitely work. Wonders and miracles will happen. Lord, grant me strength over my lacking. Humbly I plead that you let this battle, be one that will prevail. That my empty palms be filled.

Saturday, July 27, 2013

Tall Trees

Oh! Jungle of misdirection. Where are you leading me? It's so foggy! I can barely see what's ahead. Could it be a dead end, a surprise or a treasure.

Life is that mist. It's a mystery, a veil that shadows the uncertainty. Empty handedly I journeyed, accompanied by a voided heart. As promised, choices were given, rendering us human. Contemplating to live in the current, to progress, or to backtrack. Compassless, the almost similarity in every perspective, taints the vision ahead, making choices a hard call. The escalating and descending hills, made the distance, seems like an eternity to reach.

But on the contrary, the forest offers serenity and tranquility. Just gazing at the mirrored lake, gains self reflecting and soul searching.

Grow this very tree, if it ever will grow at all, grow as tall as it can be, keep growing. Someday I believe, faith and hope will take over. And the whole plan He arranged for me will make perfect sense.

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

Juncture

Well.. I want to blog, I mean I love blogging. Its been a while since I left it here. Misses the time when I still used to remember, when I am still chatty and outspoken. At least to the ones that matters. Or at least, the times when I had someone heartily close. I missed the times when I just decided it to be a sad night and it happened as planned. Those times, being emo was like a routine ritual to self remind who I really am. Even though I've embraced the grace of God now, and I don't need to rely on self-induced tears to wick the emptiness away, still I miss my personality as before. In which I promised myself to be, as innocent and naive as I was before, to know that platonic relationship is indeed the most primary love itself. Its almost like it poses the importance as air, water and food. As basic as the necessity to survive. Further in the journey, the ultimatum I had to acknowledge now is indeed, impending. Love remains a phantom that is beyond reach.

All my prayers which came true seems to have a lag. It's true because I can relate to it now. My memories is fading, my ability to remember is deteriorating. I used to pray that I can just forget all my sadness. But now it's becoming more of a burden, a weakness. Like they always say, be careful what you ask for. God, I pray to you now to recover my ability. I know even though I've regained my ability and at my best, you're able to remain my humbleness. It's troublesome, my anxiety, my lacking, my inability to perform. It's like I've been caged, prevented from my true capability. I can see what I can do, but this impenetrable glass wall is keeping me from it. My dear beholders, you see, I want to keep going, you want me to keep going. It's not that I want you to leave disappointed, but I'm seriously lacking.

Only the truth can set me free. And the truth is my treasure. It is not earth bound. For where my treasure is, there will my heart be also.