At least I have myself.

Some humans are insatiable. People are always not satisfied with what they have to their own extend. Then it turns out to be more pessimistic and negative as we move along our ages. Learning the ugly truth that there is no one you can trust except yourself. Even we have hard time keeping the promises and resolutions we made, how can we expect to believe others. Some to the extend that their friends betray them, some to the extend their loved ones betray them, some worst! the extend that even family betrays them.
It is very sad that we live in this era which every ancient human behavior have thus deceased and formed an equivalent evil good balance in another way. People kill and fight wars in the past, poverty plague lands but I would say, at least there were loyalty, loyalty to the king, trust between friends, cherish the short and dangerous fragile live and times they have as they don't know how long they will live and die. People in the present moments, they never fight wars, most of them live at least in average, survivable economy, noble rich people are everywhere. They were not landlords or kings or anything, but at least people like this have more than they ever needed. Then here comes the part that humans, they take things for granted when everything is provided, when they don't face hard times and difficulty in life. Social wars everyday, everyone's control is just as far as their own. While some is running with their mind not the heart and humanity, while some is fighting their way thru life with these people. Some remains silent, some expresses. But there is no obligations to help these needs because of all our own commitments. We're at war with individuals at this era.
In this war, i've come to learn of a biggest mistake I did, that is over-trusting. Leaving your own life, dreams and future in their caretaking. And you know wat? they just turn you down. There is no such thing as loyalty in this era where every promises made, are definately meant to be forgotten. Why loyalty? Well, just imagine, loyalty is like many smaller rocks forming into a big rock, and when it rolls down the hill, obstacles can't withstand the weight and giant of it and it crushes everything else because of it's power and magnetic attraction of each atom, whereas a tiny single rock gets stuck in even any tiny obstacles. I would say the law of gravity in real life here, is karma, a balance, energy changes from form to form, it doesn't dissapear. When you make someone sad, you are happy or satisfied for that moment, and when the person moves on, then only you realize that you regret it. It's always a cycle and only repeat throughout life.
So far where I am now, i've seen the faces of people around me, the faking of it, the unsincerity and always taking a friend or loved ones for granted. Don't they have pitstops in their life, where they only stop and ponder a little to review themselves between reality and dreams, for improvement at least. Stop a while to think of the people around you, stop a while to think that what is worth holding on to and what is not. Who is your true friend or love, or why they are not? Can you forgive them? Is your trump card, to give a second chance worth giving? Then do it. Sometimes give the benefit of the doubt.
Let love be the guiding force? It's a joke! love only exists when their in needs and is discarded when they don't need it anymore or found a better substitute. Look hey, you can actually replace love, what the hell! Love is a trend, it's not true. What is true love then? Well, as for me, being able to set your mind that it is only the worst that is death that only can seperate the heart from giving up a person you love,that is true love. People laugh and are entertained being told that that someone commited suicide for love. As for me, I cry as much as i feel it myself when one gave all up his/her precious only life, yes! like the one u're seeing thru both your eyes now.. imaninge doing this, die for the stubborn and ignorant person she/he loves. People say these people are stupid,crazy,insane, out of their control. No! I don't think so, i believe even in the afterworld now, they are still looking back to this life and knowing that even after great things he/she tot he/she have done to go beyond her measure to die for the person she/he loves, people still moves on. Yes! they cry and regret but after some time they are forgotten. You see how fucking assholes are these people. Those died are suffering in hell now for their whole eternity, while you smile and enjoy living ur life like u're relieved and dismissed of a great burden. I'm so sorry and I pray for them to rest in peace.
I keep trying to hold on to what I already know because I believe I was born for one destiny and not many. One destiny, one love that sits above all. But I'm trying to give up now, seems like its hard for me to trust anyone anymore. Now all I can say is only "at least I have myself". Time to review myself and brush up on it. It takes time and I'm trying and I will never forget.